One Small Step

You may remember from my  Dear Mental Health Professionals of York post I tried to explain the difference of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (ptsd) & Borderline Personality Disorder (bpd) and how these disorders affected me. To regular readers of my blog it is no secret I’ve struggled with accepting the recent decision by a consultant psychiatrist I’ve never met to remove ptsd from my dual diagnosis. It had even been blurred over by my GP that it’s accepted that ptsd is a part of bpd.

Now I have spent many appointments trying to jusitfy why it is important for me to have the dual diagnosis. Firstly, as most of you will know it validates what happened to me as a child, this enables me to feel trust and accepted. Secondly and arguably it helps to get access to the right treatment and meds. I’m starting to recognise the onset of dissociation and although I may not stop it setting in I can now minimise it’s effects. I still have to learn how to cope with flashbacks, night terrors and hypervigilism but it’s still a work in progress.

Anyway I had a little progression today and was a definite chink in the armour of the psychiatrist. I had to see my gp to sort my prescription out, I’d assumed  I was going to have to do it by phone as I didn’t think I’d be up in time to make an appointment this morning as i was unable to get access online last night. Anyway I finally got to sleep around 1am to be woken up 2 hours later by some drunken idiot making a racket outside. I woke in such a fright I wasn’t able to calm down and settle down again so I stayed up. I was able to log onto the doctor’s website and made an appointment, following a speedy breakfast at The Pig & Pastry I made my way to the doctor’s surgery.  The aim of the appointment was to get my prescription sorted and get my medications tweaked, it didn’t quite go as I was hoping, but he conceeded to try me out on Venlafaxine. He said he wanted to check my blood pressure, he kept telling me to relax and breathe. Suddenly he wanted to have me book an electro-cardiogram because my blood pressure and pulse were ridiculous. I explained I am always on edge and hypervigilent and my pulse and bp were probably high because of that, and particularly worse given the way I woke up. At which point he conceded I was probably right and that this was a result of PTSD symptoms.

Now I still have to go get an ECG done next week but I feel like I have won. My GP is back on my side, I’m still not sure how I can convince the mental health services, but I have made one small step and won this battle.

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