Vengence For A Little Boy (Trigger)

Ok so I’ve been uming and erring about this post. Earlier I braved going out whilst I was having lunch at Clifton moor Epiphany by Staind came on my mp3 player. I posted a couple of lines on twitter because they were very personal to me. One of my dear tweeps thought I was being poetical, so I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a very long time,  write a poem.

I started at lunch and it was painful but beautiful, paused for lunch, did some shopping then waited for the bus home. I am not sure how long it took me to finish but at some point I realised i’d become disassociated again so what started as a poem about my pain and feelings about being abused finished as a homicidal dissasociated writing. Read at your peril.

 

I just don’t know what to say

About what happened that fateful day

I dont know what was his driver

That decades later I’d be a survivor

All I know is what I have seen

All I know is what has been

All I know is I see a little boy

Sat in the corner with his comfort toy

So today I remember all the things that hurt

And I feel my life crumbled in the dirt

As the memories seep into me and haunt

The echoes of voices that continue to taunt

Who knew my innocent’s fate?

That all this time consumed by hate

Who knew that I’d get so far

That few would ever see my scars

But it’s time to make myself clear

It’s time to give him my fear

I will not cry

I will noy grieve

No more lies

I will not deceive

For so many years

I’ve carried so many fears

I’ve cried so many tears

This is how it it ends

This is how it will go

For I finally find my peace As I watch his blood begin to flow

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