Now over recent weeks/months I have received some of the kindest and most sincere words any human soul could wish to nourish it. However Mine has been so poisoned by others from my past and more importantly by myself.
Now I’m sure I can hear many sharp inhales of breath, wondering that’s not how you see me and how could I not see what you see in me. Now there are many reasons. As I mentioned in my last post I struggle with the fact my parents didn’t believe me at the time when I told them what was happening, this I’m fairly sure is what has done more damage than the abuse. Then there was my time at school, because I was quiet and pretty sensitive and desperate not to be the outcast I was the prime target for bullies at school, whereas they did their damage at the time, and had a rumour that lasted from the 1st day of secondary school to the day I left in Upper 6th form I have grown big and physically strong, should I bump into them, I know from experience they suddenly get a flash of yellow and beg forgiveness. But they’ve had their effects on how I see myself.